Usually in the land of sequels, it’s either hit-the-target or a disappointing misfire. This third venture of the grumpy, bulbous-nosed, green ogre Shrek from the swamp slogs the land with moneymaking prowess, but is Shrek’s return to the fantastical Far Far Away, far far too much? Try to jump on a pool of mud and see what happens; it’s head first collision to stinky rottenness. It’s that stupid, ridiculous, plot-stretching that makes this a messy misfire.

Right away, Dreamworks Animation tagged their names as Pixar’s greatest arch-nemesis and dubbed Shrek as the friendliest Scottish ogre in the world. Here in SHREK THE THIRD, not only Shrek confuses with his ‘love thy own self’ (no matter how ugly you are and green your skin is) message but he suffers with a shallow plodding of his father-to-be-image. After rescuing the whole kingdom of Far Far Away, Shrek (voice of Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) settles as a couple but then was terrorised by the Frog King’s death. Note John Cleese as he performs the most ludicrously unamusing, schmaltzy death scene. Define overkill.

Shrek normally goes out into an adventure saving somebody or something: in the first SHREK, he goes to save a princess, in SHREK 2, he seeks a magical potion, in THE THIRD’s case, he finds the kingdom’s one true heir (horribly unexplained), Artie, who belongs in Worcestershire High aka all-American-high-school with geeks who mutters with “dude” and girls who says “like totally” all the time. If it weren’t for the scandalously misfit Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and the fur-rrific Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas), Shrek’s journey would have to be one of cinema’s most boring sojourn.
While the green ogre is away, the villains are at play. Prince Charming wanted to be King, as though he was never satisfied with his celebrity status and his soft and bouncy hair. He gathers Hook, With Queen, Rumpeltiltskin and all the fairy tale spoilsports without ever wondering how the hell they ended up in one pub. Together, they overthrow Far Far Away with flying brooms and moving trees (must be nicked from the Ents of Lord of the Rings). On the other side, Fiona gets revenge-feely all over as she also gathers the princesses, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Rapunzel and one of the evil step-sisters (horribly unexplained again!). As though a sequel (in this case a three-quel) literally means that it has to have war scenes, everything climaxes with a stage play with slapsticky action sequences, overwrought supposed-to-be humour sidekicks, and unbelievably unsatisfying. Instead of guffawing, stomach heaves with dry sickness. Even the addition of Artie aka King Arthur doesn’t really make a difference and Justin Timberlake’s voice acting is cloying, characterless and dumb.

Sometimes in films, no matter how hard we try to consider some materials, we believe that a good sequel maintains its quality right from the start. No matter how good the visuals are, no matter how superb the animation is, material serves its purpose. The first SHREK, in my opinion, would have to be the most entertaining, brilliantly-conceived fairy tale about an unfairy-like creature on Earth, the massive green ogre with nose hairs emerging. However, it’s no elastic material, they have stretched this too much that it’s already worse for wear. The plot is disastrous, the humour is absent, and everything else is just too hysterically campy for my taste. When they swapped Donkey and Puss In Boots, we could tell straight without looking at them that they had already been digging out holes for ideas. When they added Merlin with his ‘titude, it wasn’t a wise move.

Overkill defined. SHREK THE THIRD had lost out its charm and energy from its predecessors. It feels tired and shows aging, without thoughts and ideas anymore. And yes, they are making Shrek 4, hopefully it would not be litter. This should be summer and never had been yet a very satisfying movie that hit the theatres (C’mon TRANSFORMERS, SIMPSONS and HARRY POTTER! Prove your worth!). All had been suffering the sequelitis disease. Little Shreks are adorably cute though, but so far so bad, all the ha-ha’s of this series had turned har-har on this one.

RATING: C