All the red carpets have been rolled back and the dust have already settled after the Academy Awards hoopla, culminating the awards season, from Golden Globes to Critics' Choice to BAFTAs, and just as all is calm and quiet now - The Moviejerk parlays awards that gives no shining trophies of gold. Here be no envelopes, no speeches, no fuss, no bullshitting. This year the fiasco encircles around The Dark Knight criminal snub at the Oscar Best Picture category - yes, I am addressing this to those Academy snobs, just because a film has Batman in it means you can summarise it as a superhero movie (observe: it is a crime epic, million light years away from your Spidermans and Supermans). Recheck your rules. It deliberately deserves its place in the nominations, at the very least. Nevertheless, the underdog of the year claims its final stake in the many categories here, both Slumdog Millionaire and The Dark Knight coveting many of the honours. How could we not love a rags-to-riches story?

Enough with my ramble-shambles, and off you trot with the award list.