If you think that Sin City had revolutionized cinema and made Quentin Tarantino and Martin Scorcese drool over the black-and-white vista, think twice. 300, a rip-roaring, rampaging, ballistic, bombastic take on the historical Battle of Thermopylae, also based on Frank Miller's graphic novel, doesn't only transmogrifies cinematic experience but sparks people into talking may it be historians, artists, directors, cinematographers, local moviegoers, your uncle or probably even your grandad. I sniffed this film ages ago and totally sat down and waited for it to arrive. Good enough, we checked it out an the Odeon Theatre, in which my sister claims that it's nothing compared to the best cinema in UK. Anyway, it's still good enough for me. As long as I could watch, hell may break loose, I will feel satisfied when I get the chance to check the latest buzz.

Now the question arises, was I satisfied?

My answer would be yes - and no.

First and foremost, 300 is adapted from Miller's famous graphic novel of the same title, and just like what Robert Rodriguez had done with Sin City (also a creation of Miller), Zack Snyder had completely understood 300's material and embellished it with the gold-and-bronze colour tone, exactly as Rodriguez's black-and-white visuals. Every single scene feels like Snyder had ripped off pages from the comic book, every angular shot, every dramatic detail. Because of this, it made 300 a visually arresting and sumptuous cinematic magnificence. Never before The Matrix, or the latest Sin City, had I felt visually-involved with 300's ambitious scene-by-scene histrionics. The film is just so drop-dead gorgeous. With rich tones of gold, bronze, grey and blood crimson, one may feel the surrealism that even Van Gogh would surely be jealous of. So with the slow-mo effects, battle scenes became more effective due to its theatrics and King Leonidas slashing here and there was comically mouth-dropping. I would be downrightly amazed if 300 wouldn't bag a Best Visual Effect nomination for the next year's Oscars. This has really defined what eye-candy is all about, as what another critic has mentioned "the Belgian chocolate of cinema".

What really struck me was that 300 proved to the world that a filmmaker can make an intense, almost convincing, war movie by not going to real landscapes just to shoot. From the likes of Troy to Alexander, war movies had been so tedious, rollicking from Morroco to Egypt to Bosnia and God-knows where else in the cosmos. Snyder knew his weapon, and he's very good at it. The power of green-screen. 300 is made with a budget of $60 million, and compared to Troy which tantamounts to more than $100 million production budget, it's nevertheless effective and more artsy-fartsy for the cinema freaks.

Kudos to Zack Snyder for being pragmatic enough to keep his wits up in his brain. He totally understood every single detail, every single line, every single yowzah! that 300 deserves. Artistically speaking, 300 belongs to the summit, and it reminds me why I wanted to become a filmmaker myself, because every director has his liberty to paint his own colours, his own strokes on a blank canvas of glory. Especially what he has done to the war scenes. Never before since the Battle in Pellenor Fields in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King had made me grip my own palms with my own fingernails and grit my teeth, and 300 just did that. Notably. So far, it's the only film in recent memory that has a great potential to make the Battle of Pellenor Fields look like just wheat fields. But then again, exaggerating a Persian army up to a million might make it too eyebrow-raising, compared to Lord of the Ring's hundred-percent fictional universe. Historians might wage war with Snyder himself.

I remember I said "no" not too long ago, when I asked myself whether I was satisfied. Of course, I can't get away with it without answers now, can I? Here it is, brace yourselves. 300 is as shallow as your nearest seashore. Plot-wise, there's not too much going on beneath the surface in here and what you see in front of you a movie filled with holes. Cheesy lines are written all over it, and since epic movies had been born by the likes of Braveheart, one couldn't help but harrumph at it. However, thank God to the naturally ferocious performance of the wow-worthy Gerard Butler for making "Ready your breakfast, and eat hearty, for tonight we dine in hell!" particularly engrossing. I bet my bollocks revenge-lusty peeps would find this line useful in many situations. While the rest like "Prepare for glory!" and "Give them nothing but take away everything from them!" were already immortalised by other epic war films. So much for cheesiness (not quite sure if that word is existing, but if you see what I mean).

It basically tells the story of 300 six-packed, rock-hard Spartan warriors, led by the bold and brazen King Leonidas (Gerard Butler), going into battle against a million army from the hundred nations combined from the kingdom of Persia, led by a Gay Beauty Pageant Queen with a totally gayest float evar! I'm only joking - led by Xerxes, the 7-foot (eyebrow raised) Persian God-King, with an army of a million, some giants (eyebrow raised again), some monsters (both eyebrows raised now) and rhinoceros (now that's more than just eyebrow-raising). While Xerxes fights for worldwide domination, Leonidas fights for love, his wife, for his nation, and the strict law of Sparta. Sparta could actually easily just kneel and bow down for submittance, but the nation believed in freedom. As Queen Gorgo puts it, in one of the most memorable lines in the film to the point that it becomes quotable, "Freedom is not free. It is paid for in blood.", it would stun us how people in ancient times fought with their life to gain this nirvana. In accordance to the Battle of Thermopylae, stupid people would react like this: "Why not surrender and become part of one nation? Why push more effort and kick more asses and just be killed at the end?". While the intelligent ones will surely mutter that without these 300 brave warriors, it wouldn't have inspired the Spartan and Grecian people to stand up and made the modern world Western civilization possible. If the Persian empire had threatened the very foundations of Sparta, and had submitted in defeat, it would be possible that up to now, Westerners would have been under Middle-Eastern rule.

It's expected that this film would cause the maelstrom of eyebrow-raising like flocks of bird wings, and we ask why Snyder had chosen to put monsters and giants and creatures. This is not Lord of the Rings! But I understand Snyder's point of view - he used such mediums to serve the cinematic purpose, and if you want to watch a battle with no creatures in it, then try Alexander perhaps. It's exactly the polar opposite of Troy: Wolfgang Petersen had stripped off the mythological elements in Troy that could make Homer himself fiery in rage for destroying the very essence of The Illiad, while Snyder had exaggerated the truthful historical account of the Battle of Thermopylae by putting mytholigical elements in it. It's no wonder, it's even more effective, like the brilliant scene where Leonidas confronted the oracle. Fantastic sequence. And in wars, facing the giant creatures felt more - entertaining. Why? Because it's the material. And Snyder had deliberately showcased the account this way - the way stories of heroic quests, brave wars, and tragic tales were told around a campfire. Exaggerating, but definitely entertaining. Now have you been to a campfire before? If you haven't, you just don't know what you're missing then.

It's Gerard Butler's performance that kept this film moving. I think no other actor could scream and petrify an army by his commanding voice and arresting presence like Butler, and now because of 300, he rises up to the likes of Mel Gibson and Russell Crowe. Buff as he is, it's his emotional delivery that made 300 lurk away from cold-heartedness. He's fit as a King, as a husband, and as a freeman serving his country. He might be surrounded by 300 men with airbrushed abs (yes, they have trained physically but Snyder admitted he has to computer-airbrush it to generally stand out), but it's his abs that counted the most, it's his fierce spirit that made 300 possible. Lena Headey as Queen Gorgo was absorbing as well. It's her character that generates political war inside the Spartan council, while her husbands chops heads off thousands of miles away. Nonetheless, she's a wife who stands with her husband no matter what. David Wenham, known to be Faramir from LOTR, kept the whole story alive by his generous narrating voice. And last but not the least, Rodrigo Santoro was evidently unrecognisable beneath eyeliners, piercings and more metal. Ha! Couldn't even believe that he's that bloke who melted knickers in Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle by emerging out of the sea waves like Adonis, and melted hearts especially Laura Linney's in Love, Actually. Now he looks so gay! A weird revelation of androgeny, mixture of feminism and masculinity. Unusual but effective for the role, a God-King with great vanity. Many people wouldn't probably like his character - you know why? Because his acting is that good. That's what power acting exudes.

I have to admit I like the film, artistically and cinematically speaking. I just can't help the fact that it's a bit shallow and not too emotionally sweeping that grand epics are supposed to boast. But 300 is no doubt, an arthouse, and I could really dine in hell with it's visuals and cinematography. It's one of the most gorgeous looking film so far in history. This is Braveheart's first cousin and Gladiator's second cousin (and Sin City's brother) - but lacks the emotional depth of the first two. But then again, 300 is a war film, a celebration of hard-metal-rock music, sword-and-sandals, cloak-and-loincloths, blood, more blood, abs, abs and more abs. That's what matters, and if you're looking for an epic film that would make you cry like a baby then you're not in the right place. 300 serves as a finger for pushing expletive buttons like "Yeah! Kick his ass!" or "F*ck yeah!, you just couldn't help but get cheering with it and shouting "SPARTAAAAAA!", because in fact, 300 is a cool film and nothing less ordinary. Movie fanboys like me will ignite with this human carnage that was put so beautifully.

Now I will start calling brutal people "Spartans". I think I have a bit of Spartan blood in me, I guess.


Rating: A-

2007 (c) J.S.Datinguinoo